


Protect Birdie

by weepingnaiad



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Community: cottoncandy_bingo, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hulk loves reality television, M/M, and pizza, cotton candy bingo, protect from harmless threat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 21:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingnaiad/pseuds/weepingnaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> When Hawkeye takes a fall during battle, the Hulk protects him from everything, including the very "dangerous" Agent Coulson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Protect Birdie

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** As ever, my brain twin, and soul sister, abigail89, wrangled my words into something readable and coherent. I will never be able to convey my gratitude, bb. But, of course, I fiddle even after posting, so any mistakes are all on me.
> 
>  **A/N:** Fill for my Cotton Candy Bingo square: _Protect from harmless threat_. This is little holiday tidbit dedicated to all the wonderful Clint/Coulson writers that have filled my holiday season with so many wonderful tales. I also hope this cheers up my dear, norfolkdumpling who's had a really no good awful day.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** These are Marvel and Whedon's characters used in the spirit of creative commons. I promise to return them with smiles on.

Clint dived off his perch (well, fell was a more accurate assessment) but Clint was a little busy at the moment and couldn’t be bothered with such details with the ground rushing up at him quite that quickly. Even rolling with the momentum, the impact jarred his legs, twisted his back, and he ended up spraining his wrist when he landed just this side of wrong.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, wincing as he sat up to shake off the fall. His ears rang and his head hurt, but he was mostly unharmed, except for his wrist, dammit. Cradling his injured arm to his chest, he tapped his comm with his good hand. “Agent down, but I’m fine.” All he got in reply was static. He tapped the ear piece again. “Sir?”

Nothing.

“Barton!” Coulson shouted at him from down the street. Clint grimaced at the sharp tone. At this point he couldn’t tell if Phil was pissed or worried.

As Phil strode into view, his lips pursed, eyes hidden by his dark glasses, Clint sagged in relief. Phil wasn’t running, so Clint wasn’t in too much trouble.

“’m fine, boss,” Clint called out.

But before Coulson made his way to Clint, the big guy was standing over Clint roaring in outrage. Clint blinked up at the Hulk, unsure what exactly had pissed him off.

“Hulk, stand down!” Coulson ordered.

And that seemed to be exactly the wrong thing to do by the Hulk’s reaction. He roared even louder and swatted at Coulson, winging him and sending Phil flying.

“Phil!” Clint shouted. He darted around Hulk, but found himself caught in the big guy’s fist, feet lifting off the ground.

“Birdie hurt?”

“Put me down, dammit! I need to check on Ph—Coulson!” Clint squirmed, swearing as his wrist was pressed between his side and the Hulk’s fingers.

“Hulk save Birdie.”

Hulk turned away from the scene and gently set Clint on top of a black limo, patting his head as he did so.

“What the hell?”

But at least from this vantage point he could see Woo helping Phil up. Phil was dusty, but he was shooting off orders and seemed only marginally worse for the wear. Clint sighed in relief.

Coulson headed toward Clint’s position, moving slowly, his hands up as he neared. Clint noted that he stayed just out of the Hulk’s reach.

Then Clint heard, “Stark, get your ass over here.”

He was surprised. Coulson never swore on the comms. He swore like the Ranger he was in private, especially after a few shots, but always kept his tongue carefully controlled on official channels or in public.

“Hulk, the mission is over. Stand down.” That was the Coulson voice Clint was accustomed to hearing; calm and unruffled, but not someone to fuck with.

Again Hulk didn’t seem to appreciate Coulson’s orders. Or maybe it was today’s cologne. Whatever it was, the big guy roared again and made a threatening move toward Coulson until Clint grabbed his arm. “Hey! Hey! He’s on our side!” Clint tried to reassure, but Hulk didn’t seem to agree.

“Hulk protect Birdie from man of paper.”

Stark arrived, touching down between Coulson and Hulk. “Hey, big guy! Can you let Bruce out?”

“No!” Hulk growled. “Protect Birdie!” he insisted.

“What the hell did you do, Stark?” Coulson asked.

“Me? Why is this on me?”

“It’s always on you, Stark,” Clint replied. “Now can you fix it? I really don’t need to be protected from my husband and my wrist is fucking killing me!”

“Okay, calm down, Legolas. I got this.”

Stark lifted his face plate and moved toward the Hulk with his hands up, but with the repulsors turned away from the big guy.

“Hey, how about you let Agent Suit come over so he can check out Hawkeye?” Stark cajoled.

The Hulk shook his head slowly and glared at Tony. “Man of paper dangerous.” He pointed one forearm-sized finger at Stark. “You said.”

Clint snorted. “Of course you did, Stark.”

“Once again, it _is_ on you, Stark. Now fix it,” Coulson added and Clint’s cock most assuredly did not give a little twitch at his command voice.

“Keep your suit on,” Tony snapped. Turning back to Hulk, he gave an easy grin. “C’mon, big, green and handsome. The bad guys are all rounded up.”

“You _said,_ ” Hulk reminded.

“I might have mis-spoke. Agent Agent does like his paperwork, but he’s one of the good guys. He’s on our side.”

“No,” Hulk argued. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Hulk protect Birdie from man of paper.”

“I’ve done what I can. You’re going to have to leave, Agent.” Stark shrugged, commenting over his shoulder.

“Like hell, Stark!” Clint disagreed, loudly. Well, until Hulk turned and patted him on the back. Then he just groaned as all the air was forced out of his lungs.

“Birdie hush.”

“Stark.” Phil’s voice had gone cold. Clint watched as he whispered into his comm and began gesturing to the sides, probably directing SHIELD agents to advance on their position.

“Tony, do something!” Clint urged. Coulson was losing his patience and Clint really didn’t want to be caught in the crossfire.

“All right! Keep your shirt on, Katniss!”

Stark took a step closer to Hulk. “Play time’s over. If you let Agent take Birdie to medical, I’ll let you marathon _’Say Yes to the Dress.’_ ”

Hulk stilled. “Get ice cream?”

Stark glared at Clint, but nodded. “Yes, including chocolate ice cream _and_ pizza if you stand down.”

Hulk turned and smiled at Clint before patting him on the head. “Pretty Birdie okay?”

“Yeah, big guy. I’m okay. I _want_ to go with Agent.”

“Hulk go now,” he said and then he was gone.

 _”Return to base. Threat has been dispelled,”_ Coulson said into his comm before turning and offering his hand to help Clint off the roof.

“Better catch up to him, Stark. Unless you want another hole in the side of the tower.” Coulson was not smiling, but Clint recognized the little tilt at the corner of his mouth. The tiny upturn that Clint wanted to kiss right this instant. His husband was so badass.

Stark wanted to say something, but reconsidered it when Coulson turned to face him. He left in a whir of repulsors, Clint contemplating the arc of his contrails through the sky. He caught Phil's hand with his good one and intertwined their fingers. It was brazen for his handler, but Clint didn't care and didn't back down. He'd been more than a little concerned when the Hulk had lashed out at his husband.

Phil ducked his head, a light flush peeking over his collar, but he didn't pull away.

"Let's go, Barton," Coulson said aloud for the benefit of the converging SHIELD agents. "There's a med bay with your name on it."

Clint sighed softly, acquiescing. He did hurt and from Phil's stiff, measured gait, he was injured, too. And Phil was worse about med bay than Clint was. "Looks like there's one with your name on it, too, sir."

"Probably," Phil allowed. "It could be worse."

 _'It has been,'_ Clint thought, tightening his grip and leaning slightly into Phil's warmth. "I trust you have something suitably awful in mind for Stark," Clint asked.

"Never fear, Barton. I had plenty of practice as your handler, after all."

Clint just chuckled as they were both ushered into the the nearest SHIELD med-van. He was looking forward to being on the outside of Phil's 'consequences' for a change.

The End


End file.
